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What’s the difference between a viola and a coffin?
The coffin has the dead person on the inside.
How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
What’s the definition of a minor second?
Two violists playing in unison.
What’s the definiton of “perfect pitch?”
Throwing a viola into a dumpster without hitting the rim.
How can you tell when a violist is playing out of tune?
The bow is moving.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
What is the range of a Viola?
As far as you can kick it.